Could it be that the polygamists have it figured out after all? Never would've thought so, but ever since a second child joined our family I've been thinking that one wife just isn't cutting it. I suppose if we lived in filth or if I plopped the kids in front of the TV all day it wouldn't be so challenging. But keeping up with the dishes and the cooking and the laundry and the errands while providing stimulating activities and nurturing connections for my children is just plain exhausting. Something always gives, and because I don't want my kids to feel abandoned or the bathroom to grow mold, what "gives" is typically my mental and/or emotional sanity.
True, I am not at all alone in my mommy-exhaustion. Polygamy isn't exactly the social norm (which, all things considered, is a good thing), so women in this country have been running their households solo for decades...as is dictated by the American Dream of Total Independence, right? I have done zero research on this topic and can't quote any legitimate statistics or facts, but it just seems to me that this arrangement isn't working out so well. Shutting ourselves into our single-family houses in the name of privacy and independence where we try to do everything ourselves is overwhelming and stressful at best. In my opinion, the rationale from previous generations that "we did it; therefore so can/should you" is just plain silly. I'd like a little help! And I'd like to offer a little help to my friends who seem to be just as frustrated and perplexed as I am with the current status quo.
I joke that I'd like to start a commune, but in truth, I'm not really joking. I would love to buy a big piece of land somewhere and invite family members and friends to build houses on it so we could all live in close proximity. I'm still American enough to want my own little house, but with all of us so close together we could actually share life's many and varied responsibilities. I could provide regular childcare for my friends' kids and they could provide it for mine. We could cook for each other and clean for each other so if one of us has a particularly hard week (or a new baby!), those would be two less tasks to have to manage. We could share a garden and tools and last minute ingredients. Perhaps most fabulously, we could provide daily company for each other without having to get in a car.
Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. Sadly, I don't think a commune is anywhere in my near future. But if any of you have some suggestions for creating this type of community without buying a piece of land and building houses, let me know. I'm open to suggestions!
And now, if any of you have actually read this far, I'll treat you to some recent photos of our darling kids. I'm hoping you'll think they're so cute you'll want to join our commune :)
The requisite "Little Brother" "Big Sister" t-shirt shot. Good thing we took it when we did because our robust little 7-week-old no longer fits in his newborn clothes!
During dinner one night, Maddie spontaneously busted out the above expression. We were totally confused until she matter-of-factly informed us that she was doing an impression of Henry. At which point we nearly wet ourselves laughing.
!!!! I want to eat him, he's so cute.
You'll have to enlarge this shot to really see, but this is a little photo of my dad when he was a baby. Remind you of any other little infant you know? Wild, huh?
At 7 weeks, we are seeing more and more smiles from sweet Henry.
I walked into the living room one morning to find that George had joined Henry for a swing. Evidently someone thought they both needed some company :)
Snow day!! We were outside for a brisk walk and some snow angels by 7:50 that morning, knowing that here in "the valley," snow never sticks around for long.
Sipping hot cocoa on a recent snow day...'cause that's just what you do when it's cold and snowy outside!
Four generations of Olmsted men: Grandpa O., Baba, Kurt, and Henry Finn.
And three and a half years ago, here were four generations of women: my late Gramma J, Nana, me, and tiny Madelyn Grace (was she ever really this small?!!! Amazing how your firstborn becomes HUGE overnight as soon as your second kiddo is born...).
True, I am not at all alone in my mommy-exhaustion. Polygamy isn't exactly the social norm (which, all things considered, is a good thing), so women in this country have been running their households solo for decades...as is dictated by the American Dream of Total Independence, right? I have done zero research on this topic and can't quote any legitimate statistics or facts, but it just seems to me that this arrangement isn't working out so well. Shutting ourselves into our single-family houses in the name of privacy and independence where we try to do everything ourselves is overwhelming and stressful at best. In my opinion, the rationale from previous generations that "we did it; therefore so can/should you" is just plain silly. I'd like a little help! And I'd like to offer a little help to my friends who seem to be just as frustrated and perplexed as I am with the current status quo.
I joke that I'd like to start a commune, but in truth, I'm not really joking. I would love to buy a big piece of land somewhere and invite family members and friends to build houses on it so we could all live in close proximity. I'm still American enough to want my own little house, but with all of us so close together we could actually share life's many and varied responsibilities. I could provide regular childcare for my friends' kids and they could provide it for mine. We could cook for each other and clean for each other so if one of us has a particularly hard week (or a new baby!), those would be two less tasks to have to manage. We could share a garden and tools and last minute ingredients. Perhaps most fabulously, we could provide daily company for each other without having to get in a car.
Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. Sadly, I don't think a commune is anywhere in my near future. But if any of you have some suggestions for creating this type of community without buying a piece of land and building houses, let me know. I'm open to suggestions!
And now, if any of you have actually read this far, I'll treat you to some recent photos of our darling kids. I'm hoping you'll think they're so cute you'll want to join our commune :)
The requisite "Little Brother" "Big Sister" t-shirt shot. Good thing we took it when we did because our robust little 7-week-old no longer fits in his newborn clothes!
During dinner one night, Maddie spontaneously busted out the above expression. We were totally confused until she matter-of-factly informed us that she was doing an impression of Henry. At which point we nearly wet ourselves laughing. 
!!!! I want to eat him, he's so cute. 
You'll have to enlarge this shot to really see, but this is a little photo of my dad when he was a baby. Remind you of any other little infant you know? Wild, huh? 
At 7 weeks, we are seeing more and more smiles from sweet Henry. 
I walked into the living room one morning to find that George had joined Henry for a swing. Evidently someone thought they both needed some company :)
Snow day!! We were outside for a brisk walk and some snow angels by 7:50 that morning, knowing that here in "the valley," snow never sticks around for long. 
Sipping hot cocoa on a recent snow day...'cause that's just what you do when it's cold and snowy outside!
Four generations of Olmsted men: Grandpa O., Baba, Kurt, and Henry Finn.
And three and a half years ago, here were four generations of women: my late Gramma J, Nana, me, and tiny Madelyn Grace (was she ever really this small?!!! Amazing how your firstborn becomes HUGE overnight as soon as your second kiddo is born...).
3 comments:
I have two things to say. 1 you are absolutely correct I would join a commune I often have the same thoughts. 2 You make beautiful children.
yes. i would join your commune...sounds fantastic!
I don't know about your latest polygamist thoughts, but your children are quite adorable!
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