...for a peaceful evening and a good night's sleep? Would you beg and plead with your preschooler, thus confirming once and for all that she is, in fact, the boss of the household? Would you begin using questionable discipline techniques that you swore you'd never use? Would you bribe said child with a bowl full of processed sugar for each morning that she goes to bed without a fight?
Yes, yes, and sadly, yes.
Our Madelyn is a vivacious child with a fabulously imaginative mind and an insatiable curiosity. She giggles easily and has the best facial expressions. She has a kind, inclusive heart and loves to be a helper. The majority of the time, she is flexible and compliant and polite such that I start to think I must be a pretty darn good Mommy to have produced such a wonderful kid.
Then, inevitably, bedtime rolls around. I've said it before, and here it is again: anyone who doesn't believe in a carnal nature needs to spend some time with small children. No matter how positive and euphoric the day, bedtime arrives and our girl morphs into an impulsive, crazed, wild thing whose limbs and vocal chords seem to be functioning in total separation from her brain. She tears through the house and cackles and bounces incessantly with the energy of a possessed being. Once we finally manage to wrangle and rope her into her bed -- patience completely depleted -- we read stories, say prayers and close her door for the night with a sigh of relief.
And for the last year or so, that's when the fun really begins. With her spirited personality comes a frighteningly strong will. If she doesn't want to stay in her room, she's not going to stay in her room, no matter how exhausted she is or how awful things get between us. We have tried absolutely everything just shy of locking her in her room and the only reason we haven't tried that is that she would kick the door so hard it would likely crack (it's an old house after all). She can be motivated by incentives, but those incentives work for three, four weeks at best before they lose their novelty and the mischief becomes more appealing once again. Currently, she earns a (small) bowl of "treat cereal," typically something with fake marshmallows in it, for every night that she doesn't come out of her room. This kills me, folks. I am a huge proponent of healthy eating and have worked so hard since the day she was born pumping her body full of whole grains, raw veggies, and fruits in all colors of the rainbow. Watching her inhale a bowl of processed sugar first thing in the morning literally makes me cringe...but it is most certainly worth a peaceful evening with our precious daughter and a public admission that parenting is the most humbling, word-eating, prayer-inducing job ever.
Now. Make me feel better: what are you doing with your kids that you swore you'd never do?
Yes, yes, and sadly, yes.
Our Madelyn is a vivacious child with a fabulously imaginative mind and an insatiable curiosity. She giggles easily and has the best facial expressions. She has a kind, inclusive heart and loves to be a helper. The majority of the time, she is flexible and compliant and polite such that I start to think I must be a pretty darn good Mommy to have produced such a wonderful kid.
Then, inevitably, bedtime rolls around. I've said it before, and here it is again: anyone who doesn't believe in a carnal nature needs to spend some time with small children. No matter how positive and euphoric the day, bedtime arrives and our girl morphs into an impulsive, crazed, wild thing whose limbs and vocal chords seem to be functioning in total separation from her brain. She tears through the house and cackles and bounces incessantly with the energy of a possessed being. Once we finally manage to wrangle and rope her into her bed -- patience completely depleted -- we read stories, say prayers and close her door for the night with a sigh of relief.
And for the last year or so, that's when the fun really begins. With her spirited personality comes a frighteningly strong will. If she doesn't want to stay in her room, she's not going to stay in her room, no matter how exhausted she is or how awful things get between us. We have tried absolutely everything just shy of locking her in her room and the only reason we haven't tried that is that she would kick the door so hard it would likely crack (it's an old house after all). She can be motivated by incentives, but those incentives work for three, four weeks at best before they lose their novelty and the mischief becomes more appealing once again. Currently, she earns a (small) bowl of "treat cereal," typically something with fake marshmallows in it, for every night that she doesn't come out of her room. This kills me, folks. I am a huge proponent of healthy eating and have worked so hard since the day she was born pumping her body full of whole grains, raw veggies, and fruits in all colors of the rainbow. Watching her inhale a bowl of processed sugar first thing in the morning literally makes me cringe...but it is most certainly worth a peaceful evening with our precious daughter and a public admission that parenting is the most humbling, word-eating, prayer-inducing job ever.
Now. Make me feel better: what are you doing with your kids that you swore you'd never do?
5 comments:
You are doing an amazing job and Maddie is just fine. And lucky for you she's potty trained so no weird fake odd colored marshmallow poop for you to wipe! Here is a small sampling of my Best.Mother.Ever moments :
My kids use the word "happy meal".
I bribe with lollipops and Oreo's for compliance in public.
They've had soda pop. This one kills me for some reason.
And those are just examples from the food category. Motherhood is fraught with guilt inducing moments. It's really okay. I'm sure she'll live to a ripe old age with high intelligence in good health despite you giving in to lure of fake marshmallows being peddled by a little Irishman in a big stovetop hat!
Oh Kim! Don't be too hard on yourself. It happens to all of us (or at least those of us with strong-willed children). :) I recall many, many nights of similar type behavior from Erin and boy, was I lost in dispair. Especially when you're waking up with your new little one during the night...you want all the peace and quiet and sleep that you can! I will email you with what we did (if you are interested). We tried everything...and some things did work for awhile (like you) but then it wore off. I think it's a phase, partly, because Erin does not do this anymore! (Thank you Jesus!) It DOES get better.
I do bribe my kids sometimes with lollipops too, or a half hour of TV (mostly PBS Kids) or, more recently, time on the computer (websites like PBS Kids and Nick Jr). You gotta do what you gotta do. :)
Hugs and love to you!
We put Graham in his pajamas and take him out for a "treat" - yogurt - even if it's past his bedtime ... most often on the nights when it's really Mommy & Daddy who need treats.
I am guilty of not letting my kids be kids. I need to lower my expectations.
I also let my kids watch parts of the Star Wars movies that I probably shouldn't. Four years old is not a good time to learn about Darth Maul.
sigh...just what i needed, friends, thank you. i can get a bit myopic about my parenting sometimes, so a bit of perspective is good for me.
took: i actually offered pop to maddie one time (as a reward) and she didn't like it. go figure.
merri: i would LOVE some ideas from you. bring them on! it's so encouraging to know that this was a stage for erin and she's better now. i will hang on to that. and we love PBS too :)
molly: great idea! if we can't use our kids as excuses to do the fun things we want, what on earth are they for? :)
joe: so, so true. i am guilty of this one all the time and have really tried since henry was born to just let her be 3 and not expect her to be 10 just because she's now "the big sister." hard to do sometimes. and kurt says "it's never too early to learn that if you join the dark side you get cut in half." true dat.
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