September 10

Our baby girl turned five years old today.  Five!  That's a whole hand worth of fingers.  It's a big deal.  I'm looking at the time right now (10:16 p.m.), and I'm remembering that five years ago this moment, I had known my daughter for less than an hour.  That seems just impossible to me because I feel like there has never been a time when I didn't know her.  When her face didn't dance through my thoughts or her laugh ring in my ears.  I am learning that perhaps the greatest joy of parenting is discovering who your children are, and I feel like we're really getting to know our girl...how she sees the world, what excites her and what terrifies her, how she sees other people, what she values.  This year between four and five years old felt pivotal in that she no longer rides the fence between "baby" and "girl" -- she is most definitely not our baby anymore.  She is sophisticated in so many ways and fiercely independent and feisty and sensitive and compassionate and utterly determined to reach her goals.  And yet...  I rocked her to sleep last night -- for the first time in well over a year -- all curled up in my lap after she fell out of bed and totally busted up her bottom lip (those full lips of hers didn't need to get any fuller, let me tell you).  She was so upset, and even though I completely celebrate her growth and development and delight in seeing her begin to make her own way and choose her own life, I relished those 30 minutes of dependence and intimacy.  I know things often get complicated with mothers and daughters, but I hope Madelyn knows that no matter how old she is or what path she has taken or what other busted lips life gives her, she can always return to her mama's arms. 

Happy Birthday, sweet girl.  It is a privilege and a blessing to have you in our family.  We delight in you, and we love you!