Wow, one post in the whole month of April, and it's already May 10 and this will be the first post this month. Wild. Things are still topsy-turvy over here, obviously. Kurt has been laid off for over three months, and I've been working full-time for just over two months. I think our naive selves really thought he would've had a job by now, so it feels pretty discouraging that we're still solidly in the middle of a lay off with no sign that it's going to turn around anytime soon. I'm not going to lie: I'm not a fan of this arrangement one bit. I am an idealist to the core and see the world always for what I think it should be. I have a very difficult time adjusting or accepting when anything (small or big) falls outside of "should," so these last few months of having to stretch and shift and bend and give up have been enormously challenging for me. Sometimes, I just don't get it. I know that's the lesson and I know I have to be obedient to it, but I don't have to like it. Still, I've seen God show up in some pretty cool ways in my life, and I am choosing to believe, despite my fears to the contrary, that somehow the end result of all of this will be healthier and more blessing-filled for our little family than all of my "shoulds" and ideals could've imagined. And certainly, there are millions of people in this world far worse off than the three of us even on our worst day, so you know...perspective is a humbling and completely necessary thing. Nevertheless, the waiting -- and anxiety -- continue...Life has continued to go on, though, and children add such levity, thank God. Madelyn keeps us laughing, and we are continually amazed at her growth and development. (She also is directly responsible for the rise of both of our blood pressures, but I'll save those laments for another post. She is just two and a half, after all. She could hardly hold her head up high among her peers if she didn't give her parents some tale-worthy grief...) Here are a few of our favorite Maddiecakes moments in the last several weeks:
1. Even though she is unbelievably strong-willed and stubborn, she is such a sweet, tender-hearted little girl. Her feelings are easily hurt, and she is already able to read emotions on other people's faces and ask with genuine concern if "you is ok?" We have these little "sweet nothings" that we have said to her for months, and we are starting to hear them come back at us, which is just so cute. She'll say, "You know what I like? It's you!" and give us a totally unsolicited hug and/or kiss. Heart. Melting. (She does this with our parents, too, which is also so fabulous. This girl just LOVES her extended family. She talks about each of them -- even the Seattlites! -- every day and literally jumps up and down and squeals when she sees them. SO grateful that we live near family...)
2. With the coming of spring (hallelujah!) and some warmer weather, we are outside nearly every day -- rain or shine -- and it's been fun to see how much Maddie loves nature. She loves digging in the dirt and gets really excited when she finds a worm. She'll happily entertain herself for as long as we happen to be working outside, and I love the earthy, slightly sweaty way she smells when she comes back inside. We are in the middle of a major overhaul of our backyard (thanks to my brawny husband with unexpected time on his hands), so we'll keep you posted with photos when it's all said and done. If all goes as planned, we will have a little Olmsted Oasis in our backyard this summer to escape the heat, the city, and the busyness of life.
3. Madelyn is really into playing "baby" lately. Sometimes she's the baby and I have to mother her, and then sometimes I am the baby and she gets to mother me. I'm a fan because when she's the baby, she'll actually curl up in my lap and sit there for an extended period of time and my arms just love to hold that girl. The following picture is us pretending that she's a baby snuggling in the Moby. I thought for sure she'd want out right away, but she was quite content to stay in there and cuddle for awhile, just like she used to.
Well, that's all for now. I hope to post again before the end of May, but if not, see you in June. Thanks for understanding :)
1 comment:
not exactly sure how i missed this post...but...anway...praying for you guys still.....we know all about living life in (at least what we perceive to be) that "in between" place. it seems we've been shifting and waiting for things to be the way we had planned ever since we've been married (and that will be 10 years this summer!) thankfully, by now, we've figured out that maybe God is trying to get us to not be such planners but to just let him figure it out. it's been freeing for me to just enjoy the moment. i can only imagine how difficult this working full-time thing must be for you right now. you are in my thoughts and prayers often.
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