Why Our Kids Have Us Wrapped Around Their Little Fingers

Rambly Thoughts

There's no real theme to this post or major reason for writing...just a few rambling thoughts on a Thursday afternoon. Maddie is at preschool (most likely preventing her classmates from napping right about now :) and Henry is asleep on my chest making little gurgly noises. The house is unusually quiet. Thursdays are a nice day for me because I can devote all of my time and energy to little Henry. Of course I love having both of my kiddos with me, and Madelyn is genuinely entertaining company. But when Madelyn was a baby, she got 100% of my undivided attention; it's only fair that Henry gets one day of it. I can spend as much time as I want staring at him and singing to him and responding to his little coo's. He has gotten so delightfully interactive in the last week or two. He smiles anytime someone smiles at him, and he loves to be on his back waving his arms around and kicking his feet when you talk to him. His hands are still mostly clenched in tiny fists, and it's hilarious to see him become truly surprised to see one hanging out above his head. Sometimes he even hits himself in the face with one, so I don't think he yet knows that they are actually attached to his body :) He's a pretty strong little guy and also loves to "stand" on my lap. He straightens his legs and holds his head up as high as he can and looks so proud of himself (eyebrows raised with big, wide eyes and a huge smile -- seriously, dangerous levels of cute).

We're settling into a bit of a routine around here. It's getting easier and easier to get out and about with both kids, and we've had some fun adventures in the last couple of weeks (ask Maddie about KidZone sometime...best $7 ever spent on a drizzly Monday morning). I'm starting to feel a bit more at home in my body. I haven't yet made it back to the gym, but I'm hoping to do that this weekend. I'm excited to feel those exercise endorphins again and sore muscles instead of round ligament pain. I'm so thankful that this time around, I recovered so much faster. Some days I forget that I had major abdominal surgery just 10 weeks ago. And breastfeeding has also turned out to be a breeze this time around, so that's even better.

Maddie is in a fun stage right now where she wants to be "twins" with everyone. We'll both be eating yogurt for a snack, and she'll say "Hey Mommy! We're both eating yogurt! We're twins!" Or "Daddy, you're wearing Nike's and I'm wearing Nike's. We're twins!" She is constantly looking for similarities between herself and others, and it occurred to me today that the whole world would be a lot better off if we would follow suit.

Hmm, what else? My friend Molly called Henry "Huckleberry" awhile back, and I like it. I think I'm going to run with it as a perfectly complimentary nick-name to Madelyn's "Maddiecakes." In fact, I think I'll create a recipe this summer for Huckleberry Maddicakes. Mmm, my mouth is watering already...

Ok, I'm going to shut the computer now, close my eyes, and just listen to my son breathe.

Milk Drunk

Ok, so first off, I know we need to replace the picture at the heading of our blog. On my (very long) list of things to do.

Just wanted to share a little video with you. I mentioned before that I love babies' milk drunk faces, and we finally got Henry's captured on camera. So, so great. Doesn't he have the sweetest face ever?!

Wanted: Extra Wife

Could it be that the polygamists have it figured out after all? Never would've thought so, but ever since a second child joined our family I've been thinking that one wife just isn't cutting it. I suppose if we lived in filth or if I plopped the kids in front of the TV all day it wouldn't be so challenging. But keeping up with the dishes and the cooking and the laundry and the errands while providing stimulating activities and nurturing connections for my children is just plain exhausting. Something always gives, and because I don't want my kids to feel abandoned or the bathroom to grow mold, what "gives" is typically my mental and/or emotional sanity.

True, I am not at all alone in my mommy-exhaustion. Polygamy isn't exactly the social norm (which, all things considered, is a good thing), so women in this country have been running their households solo for decades...as is dictated by the American Dream of Total Independence, right? I have done zero research on this topic and can't quote any legitimate statistics or facts, but it just seems to me that this arrangement isn't working out so well. Shutting ourselves into our single-family houses in the name of privacy and independence where we try to do everything ourselves is overwhelming and stressful at best. In my opinion, the rationale from previous generations that "we did it; therefore so can/should you" is just plain silly. I'd like a little help! And I'd like to offer a little help to my friends who seem to be just as frustrated and perplexed as I am with the current status quo.

I joke that I'd like to start a commune, but in truth, I'm not really joking. I would love to buy a big piece of land somewhere and invite family members and friends to build houses on it so we could all live in close proximity. I'm still American enough to want my own little house, but with all of us so close together we could actually share life's many and varied responsibilities. I could provide regular childcare for my friends' kids and they could provide it for mine. We could cook for each other and clean for each other so if one of us has a particularly hard week (or a new baby!), those would be two less tasks to have to manage. We could share a garden and tools and last minute ingredients. Perhaps most fabulously, we could provide daily company for each other without having to get in a car.

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. Sadly, I don't think a commune is anywhere in my near future. But if any of you have some suggestions for creating this type of community without buying a piece of land and building houses, let me know. I'm open to suggestions!

And now, if any of you have actually read this far, I'll treat you to some recent photos of our darling kids. I'm hoping you'll think they're so cute you'll want to join our commune :)

The requisite "Little Brother" "Big Sister" t-shirt shot. Good thing we took it when we did because our robust little 7-week-old no longer fits in his newborn clothes!

During dinner one night, Maddie spontaneously busted out the above expression. We were totally confused until she matter-of-factly informed us that she was doing an impression of Henry. At which point we nearly wet ourselves laughing.

!!!! I want to eat him, he's so cute.

You'll have to enlarge this shot to really see, but this is a little photo of my dad when he was a baby. Remind you of any other little infant you know? Wild, huh?

At 7 weeks, we are seeing more and more smiles from sweet Henry.

I walked into the living room one morning to find that George had joined Henry for a swing. Evidently someone thought they both needed some company :)

Snow day!! We were outside for a brisk walk and some snow angels by 7:50 that morning, knowing that here in "the valley," snow never sticks around for long.

Sipping hot cocoa on a recent snow day...'cause that's just what you do when it's cold and snowy outside!

Four generations of Olmsted men: Grandpa O., Baba, Kurt, and Henry Finn.

And three and a half years ago, here were four generations of women: my late Gramma J, Nana, me, and tiny Madelyn Grace (was she ever really this small?!!! Amazing how your firstborn becomes HUGE overnight as soon as your second kiddo is born...).

31 Days

Our tiny Huck Finn is one month old today. Let me tell you, friends: I feel a sense of genuine satisfaction and pride that we have kept two children alive and relatively happy for one whole month. Man oh man... I truly could not have imagined just how challenging and exhausting it is to parent more than one child. It has been quite a month, but just look at his precious little face. If ever there was a worthy enough reason for total life disruption, that face would be it. We couldn't be more grateful or joyful.

Henry is asleep on my chest as I type this post. I thought about putting him down in his crib to nap so I could get a few things done, but I remembered just how fast those chest-snuggling days passed with Madelyn so alas...emptying the dishwasher and organizing the medicine cabinet can wait. Snuggling with a newborn -- my newborn -- is worth a messy house. Pure bliss, in fact.

A few observations thus far:

-Boys are so noisy! Madelyn was a pretty quiet, chill little baby, but Henry grunts and squeaks and chirps and otherwise comments on his experiences constantly. I wear earplugs at night because he's so loud!

-I'm pretty sure he has my toes, poor kid.

-Henry is making sure that, as the second child, he doesn't go unnoticed or forgotten. This little baby wants to be held all the time. And I do mean all the time! Let's just say that we're not exactly discouraging him :) Thank God for the Moby wrap or Madelyn would never eat lunch and I would never pee.

-Our little man is already buttering up his dad for a motorcycle. Kurt and I take a "zone defense" to the nighttime shift: he's on from 9pm to 2am and I'm on from 2am to 7am. The last few nights, Henry has slept over four hours on Kurt's shift but still wakes up every 2-3 hours on my shift, little stinker!

-I forgot how awesome babies' milk-drunk faces are!

-Everyone was right: watching Madelyn's and Henry's relationship begin to develop even at this early stage is just fantastic. Nothing in my life thus far has brought me more joy than seeing her try to gently comfort him when she thinks no one is watching and him calm to her voice. God willing, they will have each other for a long, long time.

Henry Finn

Our sweet boy, Henry Finn, made his way into this world Friday January 7, 2011 at 3:03 p.m. He weighed 8lb. 7oz. and was 21in. long. He is cute. Really cute, and we fell immediately in love with him upon his first little cry and our first glimpse of his sweet little face.

I cannot express what a positive experience his birth was for Kurt and me. I have written about Madelyn's birth and what a bittersweet day that was for us. Despite the very planned, surgical nature of a scheduled Cesarean, Henry's birth felt so natural, joyous, and redemptive for us both. We loved our doctors; we loved our nurses; we loved their push toward immediate bonding with our baby despite still being in the OR. The overall stay in the hospital was like being in a hotel -- we were genuinely disappointed to have to leave :) Someday, I'll write his birth story in greater detail, but given that I started this post nearly two weeks ago and I'm just getting around to actually posting it demonstrates just how busy we've been keeping two children alive (you all warned us just how hard the leap from one to two is... I didn't fully believe you. I stand corrected.)

Until I can write more, I wanted to at least share some treasured photos with you. Hopefully they will provide a glimpse of this new chapter of our lives and just how immeasurably we have, once again, been blessed.

(Also, given that individually written thank-you's will likely take me weeks to get to, I need to say an inadequate but heartfelt THANK YOU to so many of you who have showered us with prayers, congratulations, meals, gifts, visits, and encouragement. We are so, so grateful and would not be surviving these sleep-deprived days if it wasn't for you.)

Our Trio Becomes a Quartet

Well, this will very likely be the last post as a family of three, and while I feel increasing amounts of trepidation as the time gets closer, I COULD NOT be more ready to not be pregnant or more EXCITED to meet our little boy. This has been an incredibly challenging nine months for me (and therefore for Kurt and Madelyn as well). I am not good at being pregnant. Or bringing babies into this world, it seems. For someone who likes to be perfect at everything she tries, this does not sit well with me. I have felt so much anxiety and fear this whole pregnancy about how Henry's birth would go and ways I could control it and make it better that there hasn't been room in my heart to just be grateful for his tiny existence and excited to meet him and snuggle him. As my wise sister lovingly but bluntly pointed out, that's just not fair to him -- he deserves to enter this world to as much elated anticipation as his sister did. So that's what I've been focusing on these last few days, and thanks to many of your faithful prayers, I have made as much peace as there's going to be with how Henry will enter this world and am now simply buzzing with excitement that I get to meet him in just over one day.

Nevertheless, as all of you moms-of-two-or-more know, it's an emotionally complicated thing to welcome a second child into your family. I always find it fascinating and baffling when two seemingly mutually exclusive emotions exist in equal strength simultaneously, and this situation is no different. I am 100% thrilled to welcome a second child into our family and create a little sibling set, but I am also 100% terrified at how this child's presence will change the warm, familiar, loving little dynamic that is Mommy, Daddy, and Maddie. I confess that while I am absolutely certain that I already love little Henry, my loyalty is still with Madelyn; most of my fears about the weeks immediately following his birth involve making sure her emotional needs continue to be met. And yet everyone tells me that a mother's heart multiplies -- it never divides. I believe you. You are a wise lot of women. I look forward to laughing at myself and eating a hearty dose of my own words.

So, it is with a tumultuous brew of anticipation, love, fear, confidence, trust, excitement, and relief that I embark on this next chapter of our family's life. I can't wait to meet our little boy, and I can't wait to introduce him to all of you. I'm sure Kurt will keep you all well informed, as he did with Madelyn's birth, in the next few days. Thanks, as always, for joining us on our unfolding journey...