10.15.2009

Theresa Dyke Bickley

This past Tuesday, only 19 days after losing my Grandma Johnson, my Grandma Bickley also went home to be with Jesus. While my Grandma Johnson's death was expected and a relief given her long-suffering, my Grandma Bickley's death was so sudden and unexpected, it has genuinely shocked our family. She was sitting in her chair talking to her oldest daughter on the phone when she had a massive heart attack and died before my grandpa made it to her side, minutes later. She was only 79 years old and while she had some health complications, she was by all accounts nowhere near death. I'm not sure which is worse: to see a loved one suffer physically for an extended period of time or to have a loved one die so suddenly that you don't get to say a proper good-bye. Neither is easy.

For me, my Grandma Bickley's death has been a very different experience than my Grandma Johnson's. I emphasize that these are my feelings, and not everyone in my family likely feels the same. My Grandma B's life was filled with complicated relationships and circumstances. Regardless of how they occurred or were perpetuated, she was often in the position of having to choose the "lesser of two evils," so to speak. I can't imagine having to make some of the choices she had to make in her life, and while I've never felt that I really understood my grandma, I also genuinely empathize with how difficult it must've been to navigate her life. My grandma loved Jesus and sought His will in every minute detail of her life. She had stated repeatedly to numerous people that she just couldn't wait to get to heaven and meet her Lord, and as with my Grandma J, I am thrilled that she is Home, basking in the affection and affirmation of Christ. Her entrance into heaven was also greeted by her mother, daddy (who just adored her), a particularly special aunt (Tada), and her infant child, Timothy, whom she only had the pleasure of knowing for six hours before he died. Can you imagine how whole she must feel right now?

Sadly, I did not know my grandma well. Here are a few things, however, that I have always admired and loved about her:

1. As I stated earlier, Grandma always had one of the most dedicated and intimate relationships with Jesus. He was as real to her as any other breathing human being, and I have always wished I could experience the same kind of spiritual relationship. She was also a prayer warrior with a genuine God-given gift for intercession. I have known every day of my life that she was always praying specifically for me.

2. She was a lover of words and gifted with the English language. She loved to experience new things and write about them, but she could find beauty and something worth noting in even the most mundane, normal things of life. I, too, love words and love writing, and given that she loved to see her traits in her children and grandchildren, I think that made her happy.

3. Grandma was a master crocheter. She has been crocheting as long as I can remember, and the detail and complexity in her pieces has always genuinely impressed me. I have a stuffed turtle that she made for me decades ago as well as a beautiful afghan. She also crocheted a gorgeous baby blanket for Madelyn before she was even born that is even more precious now.

4. Grandma had a contagious laugh! It was definitely not a loud or boisterous laugh, but I think that's what made it so hilarious. When she really thought something was funny, it just kind of squeaked out of her, as though it was against her will. Her whole body would shake and sometimes she would start to tip over. One time, while watching Planes, Trains, and Automobiles at our house, she nearly fell off her chair one tiny giggle at a time. I especially love that my dad has this same laugh :)

5. She and Grandpa have always had some type of RV or camper. I always thought that was super cool as a kid. Beds and potties on wheels. What could be better than that?

6. She never forgot a birthday or any other special occasion. That takes organization and commitment.

5 comments:

Kelly said...

Oh Kim I'm so sorry to hear this. So soon after you lost your other grandma :( We will be praying for your family.

Mandi said...

definitely praying, but, again, thank you for taking the time in the middle of your difficulty to write something about her for us. i am so sorry for your loss...

Diane said...

This is beautiful Kim. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about your Grandma B. Don't you just know the angels are rejoicing that she is Home sitting at the feet of Jesus! You and your family are in our hearts and prayers for sure.
Love you ... Diane and Lee

clo said...

Kim,
I'd called for an up-date, but am so GLAD I had the opportunity to read & experience your account of "how your weekend went." Wow! Like I was there, holding Maddie for you! Thank so much, my Dear Daughter-in-grace!
Love in Him, <><
Lee

clo said...

Dear Kim,
Thank you so MUCH for your accounts and postings, especially of how your trip went to support your Dad with Gramma B's service.
I'd called for an "up-date" but am so glad to have experienced your account of your trip.
Frankly, I felt like I'd been holding Maddie for you, right there with you, experiencing it first-hand.
Thanks for sharing, and thanks too, for knowing that Diane's and my prayers are with you, ALL the way Home, as our Daughter-in-Grace!
Love you in Him, <><
Lee (BaBa - per Maddie ;~)